All people can communicate but few can explain the process of communication. This is due to the fact that the communication skill is governed by an unaware or non-declarative memory called “procedural memory”. Therefore an awareness of this special type of memory in the participants is very important for controlling the direction of communication and avoiding misconception or conflict. In the communication between doctor and patient, understanding the process of communication can significantly improve therapeutic relationship. In this article, the knowledge of communication skills from many schools was reviewed and summarized to be a guideline for practicing communication process with awareness of the procedural memory. The effective communication process is divided into five steps including 1) Suspension of assumption: speak and listen with non-judgmental attitude. 2) Tune in: concentrate with subjective experience of the clients. 3) See the world with the client’s eyes: understand the client’s experience including perception meaning and emotion. 4) Follow the client’s narrative story: understand meaning of the client’s self along the time dimension and 5) Empathy: keep empathic understanding and empathic expression.

Key words: communication, empathy, narrative process, suspension of assumption, tune in